MEL

The end of the year brought about pleasant gatherings with old friends, some of whom I have not seen for quite abit of time. Truly a wonderful week it has been. First there was John’s wedding… Got to meet up with my army buddies. Helped him out as a receptionist as well, so got to meet most of them the moment they arrived. Had a good time catching up and suaning each other again. However the parting shot was," Hope we don’t meet again too soon." Haha as the next time we meet up would probably be reservist. Unless we present ourselves at Ka Yoon’s and John’s homes on Chinese New Year to ask for hongbaos… Not a bad excuse for a gathering, or is it the other way round? Haha

Getting ready to turn up for the event, with help from The Wife. This was taken in her room, just before I left for the event. The rest of the pictures I will load on the photo albums. Hehe

Then after that met up with kak Sahira, & another friend I had not seen since Secondary School days, Ganesh. It was great catching up with them.

Picture taken at lunch. Ganesh is from India. He was here for a few days to get some shopping done as well as a holiday. Unfortunately his trip was spoiled when his mother’s handbag got stolen at Little India.

Doubt they can ever recover the belongings, but hope the New Year gets better for them. Haha damn, this posting sounds abit like a bimbo’s blog to me. Showing off pictures, telling stories based on the pictures, etc… But guess I will do it once in awhile lah haha. So let me be a "himbo" for awhile, but I will not rename myself to sound like some menstruation stuff, if you know which in-"famous" local blogger I’m talking about. It’s like, you know, like, I don’t do it sooooooo often anyway, you know. So let me like, indulge myself, like, you know, just sooooo once in awhile. Surely it’s not too much to like, ask for, right? Sounds like a bimbo? Haha I’ve heard too much of bimbos speaking when they insist on buying the bimbotic iPod, so this is the time to check if I have learnt well.   :P

OK, shall go back to my XBox, since laopo is not coming online. Happy New Year to everyone, whoever might be reading this, if anyone. Just for the record, I don’t think my blog can qualify to be picked out as a public domain, and I don’t think I can ever be called up for the ISA or Sedition Act or anything simply because nobody reads my blog nowadays. If by any chance somebody is reading this & you are not convinced, look at the recent few entries. Nobody has commented/responded on anything!   :P

The writer is now like taking a break from work and from meeting, you know, those bimbos who insist on being, like, you know, soooooo not ignorant and stupid by buying those iPods. In a week he has to, like, continue pretending to be a, you know, University student in you-know-where. So please like wish him a soooooooo Happy New Year and pray that you know, like, less bimbos and you know, those soooooooooo stinking PRCs cross his path in the New Year. Thank you, like, soooooooo much, in advance for your, you know, wishes!

http://www.horsman.co.nz/story.do?id=74

http://www.horsman.co.nz/story.do?id=67

http://www.horsman.co.nz/story.do?id=65

Finally getting a break from work and from school. Means that I get to read the newspapers more often. Yes, that was how busy I was, though I also have to admit that the arrival of the X Box in my home did not help to give me more time to read the papers lah. Hehe   :P

Anyway, dunno why, but somehow I have developed the habit of looking at the Forum pages of the papers as well. Damn, other than making one become dumber and one-dimensional (Many of the writers seem to have left their brains and common sense elsewhere when writing), it has also made me realise that Singaporeans are a confused lot. If you just go take a look, half e letters go something like:

• My neighbour’s dog can’t stop barking at night, the government should do something about it.
• I can’t park my car without scratching others’ cars. It’s not a lack of skill on my part. The government should make the parking lots bigger or set a rule that Singaporeans should drive smaller cars.
• Orchard Road gets too crowded on weekends. The government should install more ERP gantries or ban tourists in Singapore during weekends.
• My business in Orchard Road has deteriorated as a result of the above. People in the government, please do something about it.
• I want to work only 25 hours each week, but can’t earn enough to support my family. Neither do I want to risk anything and invest in anything. The government should do something for people like me.
• Having naked women dancing at the Singapore River is demeaning the local female population and advocating sleaze as well as a host of other social problems like a falling birthrate, especially when Geylang & Joo Chiat with their PRC prostitutes are only  mythical places which do not exist in real life. The government should stop this. By the way, can’t we have more pageants featuring men?

And etc… Whiners who think that the government are their mothers whose skirts they can hide under whenever they face any problem. The government is there to solve any problem we encounter because that’s their job. Having a government means we do not use our brains or any of our survival instincts. On the other hand, there are other people who write something pretty different. I wouldn’t be surprised if any of the confused bastards who write the above write in another day with a different topic, one of the below:

• We are 40 years old as a nation. Passing the big FOUR- O means we are middle-aged. This implies maturity. Please give us more freedom of choice, starting with areas like the Presidential Non-Elections or General Non-Elections. Government, please stop telling us what to do all the time.
• We can have casino$, oops! Sorry, Integrated Resort$, and naked women dancing at the Singapore River, why can’t we have more Freedom?
• Please let us speak against the government and not get into trouble with the law, subsequently needing to swim over to JB at 3am armed with a bendable straw as a breathing device. By the way the government should alter employment laws to allow employers to fire workers who dare to criticise their bosses!
• It’s time for the government to take a less active role and let us learn to stand on our own 2 feet and work for our own survival. Stop doing everything for us and constantly telling us what to do.

And etc again. To these people, can’t you please wake up your idea? Can’t you learn to just do your own things and not depend on the government all the time? Must you get the government to solve every little problem and use resources to get your neighbours to talk more softly at night instead of keeping terrorists at bay, for example? I think it’s time for the government to teach these people to shut up and mind their own business instead of getting others to mind their businesses for them…

The writer has had enough of all these nonsense. he does not believe in getting the government, or anyone else for that matter, to solve his problems. He believes that he is already well-equipped with a guai lan face and a loud voice to resolve most problems. If that does not work he may also decide to use his fist. But first, the government should allow the use of force to settle disputes. By the way, he feels his mother nags too often. The government should set a new law dictating that women who repeat the same sentence to the same person more than twice in the space of 5 minutes should get masking tape on their mouths for 2 hours.

Got a special customer yesterday. My starstruck kakis were then very excited & were more concerned with getting a good picture (subject to their own interpretations of course) taken than getting any work done. Just for the record this was the second take before they would let her off haha. But luckily I managed to get her to buy a Samsung MP3 Player.

Anyway I thought it was not exactly the best idea to get a picture taken & then give her a copy of it. But that was done anyway by my 2 wonderful kakis haha. Sekali suey suey the player she bought got problem, then all she has to do is whip out the picture & then point and say," There! These 3 fellas lor! Told me to buy Samsung MP3!" Hope Samsung doesn’t disappoint here…

Since I’m at it, must introduce… 3 beasts beside the lady in the picture… Those 2 not wearing the stupid red coat are some of the best kakis I ever worked with! Serious. It’s been a great pleasure working with them the past 3 weeks.

The driver of the above car plate better not let me see him again. That fucker driving the dark-coloured hatchback that looks like either Honda Fit or Jazz nearly caused 2 accidents in the space of 5 seconds just now, & caused me to brake damn hard to avoid knocking into him, before he did the same to another taxi driver in the lane next to mine. That happened along the PIE, towards Jurong just after Toa Payoh. These people should have their licence suspended before they cause accidents and deaths along our roads!

Back after a period of low activity in my blog. Not much to say, really. In case by some chance there are some of you out there who take an interest in the going-ons in my life (out of concern or otherwise, but doesn’t matter to me really), just a quick update:

Been working at Best Denki, Great World City selling Panasonic Cameras. Had my fair share of encounters with ignorant/arrogant/cheapskate people as usual. Getting used to it. Apparently some friends have been getting suspicious of me recently, thinking I’m out to con everyone of their money or something, so I shall not inform anyone of good offers I have next time. If you need something, ask me. But do not expect me to volunteer information anymore. Will be at them same place again next week doing Samsung again. If anyone wants to come look for me for a meal, you are more than welcome. However, please make sure you are confident enough of our friendship before you come. I don’t like being made to feel like an idiot volunteering info about good deals I have trying to be helpful and then being avoided like I’m out to con somebody out of their life savings. Will think twice next time before being a kaypoh again.

*Picture taken with a fellow fraudster. Click on it if you want to see the sharper version of it.

Next update: A few weeks after my previous next-door-neighbour vacated the premises, new nieghbours have moved in. Of all people it had to be a group of fucking PRCs. At least 5 of them, all around 20+ in age. Have the habit of playing mahjong and talking loudly til 5am every other night. Seems they only need to work on alternate days or something. I admit I’m prejudiced, but somehow they do seem to fit the stereotype of PRCs: going to other countries and then the women will work as prostitutes and the men, conmen. Maybe that explains why they seem to only need to work on alternate days.

Tired, shall end here. No mood. Might be MIA again for some time as will be conning people again in the coming weeks before school reopens. Anyway for those of you wanting to make a quick buck, a contact of mine is starting a new magazine specially for dog lovers. Launch has been confirmed for February, after months of preparation. If anyone can help us get advertisers for the magazine, you will get a cut of the revenue. But please DO NOT con people into advertising with us. If you need further details, feel free to contact me. Thanks.

Signing off. Have a good week ahead & enjoy the festivities.

In my almost 2 decades (I didn’t watch as a baby, even though I recently celebrated my 21st birthday for the 2nd time a couple of months ago, you dork!) worth of watching Singapore TV Programmes, I couldn’t help but expand my knowledge of Singapore. Just for those of you who just watch TV to drool at the actors/actresses, I have decided to share some of the facts about Singapore that I have learnt from watching TV:

1. Who says Singaporean don’t exercise enough? Whenever people get upset, they run off very quickly and talk long walks. Whether they start the walk from Toa Payoh, Woodlands Sengkang etc or anywhere else for that matter, they always end up at one place: Orchard Road. With such long walks, who says Singaporean don’t exercise enough?
2. After ending up at Orchard Road, there are usually 2 options: Taking a seat in front of the Orchard MRT, opposite the Marriot Hotel, or standing at the traffic lights watching people cross the road at CentrePoint, from Specialist’s. So next time you see people staring into blank space at these areas, beware! They are depressed people.
3. Inexplicably, on TV, when people are at these 2 locations doing nothing but standing/sitting there staring into space, they don’t get people coming up to them and say," Excuse me, can help me do survey?"
4. The road that links most places in Singapore with one another/ most used road is not the CTE or PIE, but Marina South. No matter which corner of the island you start your journey, and regardless of where the destination is, that stretch of road is usually unavoidable. Surprisingly there are no traffic jams/ERP gantries there despite the traffic volume.
5. On top of being the main connector, Marina South is also the most dangerous in Singapore. It is where most fatal accidents occur. Despite the accesibility and traffic volume, you can drive your car at high speeds there, unlike the crawling along the CTE or PIE. This usually results in many fatal accidents in which main characters are killed/seriously wounded.
6. The employees of the programme’s sponsors are usually very good-looking. This is especially so for the receptionists. Wonder where they all disappear to when I go to these places.
7. It is also nonsense that Singaporeans lack communication skills. Usually before would-be criminals kill, rape, beat up, rob etc their victims, they would give a detailed briefing on the process (probably complete with safety briefings and planning of evacuation routes, because the scriptwriters probably did not play pianos and therefore had to go through Army too!) and after that it is followed by a detailed explanation/justification of why the act has to be committed.
8. Following up on the previous point, relatives/friends usually will arrive at the scene before the ambulance/police do so. So next time something happens, call your friends, no need call 995/999.
9. When the relatives/friends arrive, the victim will be able to mutter a few last words. Just as he/she finishes the very last syllable, he/she drops dead. At this point the police and ambulance will arrive.
10. Who said that Singaporeans are always very sloppy in our dressing? Remember the TV commercial in which the couple receive a call telling them of some mattress sale, with mobile phones as free gifts in the middle of their sleep? Instead of saying "you siao is it? Disturb my sleep to tell me this nonsense!", the husband and wife immediately get out of bed saying,"What are we waiting for?" Now notice, a young married couple going into bed fully clothed and ready to go shopping at a moment’s notice! Even more effective than SAF Mobilisation! Got people wear so nice to sleep one meh? Not hot ah?!? No wonder we are not having enough babies in Singapore…
11. There is no such thing as credit limits for cards. Buy a house, a car or whatever else you want, feel free to charge it to your card! It will definitely go through, unless you are a woman who just had a quarrel with your husband or Daddy.
12. Despite the many complaints we hear about Singapore TV shows being lacking in quality, we still get people glued to the screens, and some of the more bo liao ones will even blog about them!

Hehe just to share some of the important lessons to be learnt from the educational programmes we have in Singapore. Learn them well k? But doubt they’ll be of much use lah. O’Levels and A’Levels confirm won’t come out one mah. Learn for what? General knowledge? You go fly kite lah! If in the textbook and exam got come out then tell me.

Oh yes, by the way. Wonder if people noticed an article in today’s newspapers. http://www.todayonline.com/articles/87606.asp

Isn’t that so fitting? As we all already know, China is the country with the best human-rights practices in the world, and their police and government are best known for fair and humane practices in dealing with criminal suspects? They will never resort to humiliation or torture in dealing with criminal suspects, especially political prisoners. Their people are also best known for being very law-abiding and well-behaved and as such do not deserve any form of suspicion and being taken to police stations anywhere in the world.

OK, shall skip that liao. Bet everyone have been receiving good news recently, with the festive goodies being offered by the Government and being mentioned in the papers everyday. Upgrading programmes, perks etc. Just have a gut feeling that the General Non-Elections is coming soon. But as usual, don’t expect a chance to vote. Most likely you’ll be seeing a walkover!

The writer is in one of those nonsense-spouting moods today again. He has suddenly got an inspiration to become famous, by getting into the Guiness Book of Records. He will attempt his feat under the title "Oldest man in the world never to have cast a vote in any elections, despite living in a Democracy where voting is compulsory." A few more Presidential Non-Elections and General Non-Elections should do the trick!