MEL

soHmm… Holiday just started this week, but I’m already feeling like it is kinda short. Not enough time for me to go piah & earn money to improve my current cash flows status…

Anyway the last 2 papers for the recently-concluded exams were killers… I have a bad feeling about those 2. Don’t dare to hope for much. Just hope I don’t get C grades… Anyway it was that bad that I kinda fell sick for a couple of days…

Anyway, the after-exam feeling feels damn good. Suddenly feel abit lost that there is no need to mug anymore, & don’t know what to do with the time. Damn! The feeling is just so shiok sia! Hanging around at home sleeping, going out for KTV, day-dreaming etc. Haha feels like a long time since this crazy sem started!

Anyway went to watch a musical with The Wife on Sunday, "A Twist of Fate". Pretty good performance I must say. It’s a local production, starring Adrian Pang among the more well-known people (at least to me) in the cast. It has a pretty well-designed plot with several twists etc such that the plot is neither boring nor predictable. I felt that the props and stage setting etc were also quite cute. Very enjoyable show with some elements of comedy used to good effect.

Anyway here’s a picture that we took while inside the "Durian". This was taken during the intermission of the musical. For thos eof you interested, think it runs till this Sunday, so there is still some time to catch it. Good way to spend 2.5 hours!

Just to end off, Next week me will be at Great World City Best Denki selling Panasonic cameras. So don’t be alarmed if I am missing in action for awhile. Don’t miss me too much ah. Have a great weekend coming up everyone. Bye!

Nothing to say this time. Lack of inspiration. Look out for the next post…

Anyone who has been watching the Chinese TV Channels at random timings will have seen a certain ad promoting the new album by the "xin jia po yong gan nu sheng" Brave girl of Singapore). Well, even for a non-regular TV watcher like me has seen it several times too. Power right? Alvin has been pissed out of his wits by that ad with the song that always accompanies that ad. Have to admit, me too…

Oh yes, by the way, just for the record, anyone has any ideas why the brave girl does not dare to reveal her face? Is it because she looks damn ugly? Or does she owe the loan sharks money that’s why she’s so desperate she has to sing silly songs and act cute to earn a living?

However, looking on the bright side: If someone who goes around copying other people’s songs could cut a second album, that gives hope to all of us aspiring singers! Now we can aim higher than just singing in the bathroom and hoping that nobody screams at us to shut up! There are a few lessons to be learnt here. Leanr it well & you could be on your way to cutting your own album too:

Children’s songs are the "in" thing right now. Look at her songs: Mouse loves grain; Not scared (Or "No Fear"?) etc etc… With the government pushing for babies, who knows, her album might be given as part of the package for the baby bonus in the near future! Maybe next time her albums will be the official soundtrack of the Kindergartens! If you are not convinced, watch out for that clip in her MTV that they show in that TV ad- there is one part she even does the Great Singapore Workout to her own music in her bedroom! Marketing students, there’s a lesson for you!

Bing a copycat is also the "in" thing! Ou De Yuang came out with the idea of using cartoons instead of his own face in MTVs. She has done the same. Think there is no need for me to give an analysis of her songs… We all have seen and heard them, much against our wishes (at least for Alvin and me lah).

So… The part you’ve been waiting for: Mel has also come out with ideas to emulate her "success"! For starters, I shall not copy so blatantly as to use cartoons with even the same colour schemes as Ou De Yang. (Just for the record: I’ve got absolutely nothing against him. In fact I even enjoy some of his works). Thus, I shall appear in all my MTVs with a paper bag over my head. For the second album I may decide to alter it abit and oull an underwear over my head instead. Watch out for that!

Then, I shall dust off the lyrics to all my childhood favourites. Sing Children’s songs mah! She’s done it. Now what about a male singer doing the same? Some of those that I still fondly remember:

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the King’s horses and all the King’s men

Had to be tested for the Bird Flu Virus as a precaution

Hickory Dickory Dock

Three mice ran up the Clock

The Clock struck ONE

The other two had to tend to their fallen comrade

Jack and Jill went up the Hill

To fetch a pail of water

But stupid Jill forgot the PILL

And now they have a Daughter!

So, how’s that? Can pass? Record companies, please take a queue number and wait to speak to my secretary. Don’t worry, signing me to cut an album is not on a first-come-first-served basis. Most important is that you have to make me an offer I can’t resist.

The author is glad that in less than 20 hour’s time, he can take a break from pretending to be a student. he also hopes that this will work out and he gets to cut his own album, & also further his prospects abroad. When that happens, he can leave a $5,000 cheque at the gate of Mindef and go abroad to sing and learn to play the piano, & get to skip reservist! He is looking forward to that and he has started practising his singing, "Oh Carol, I am bloody fool…"

Good news for the men! If you ever wake up not feeling like turning up for your reservist ICT, here’s an alternative for you: Now you just have to place a $5k cheque at the gate of Mindef and take the next plane out of the country. The catch: Once you are overseas, you have to learn to do something immensely "useful" and "beneficial" to the country, but not by coming up with a cure for cancer or something, but by playing stuff, like the piano, violin, barbie dolls etc… In the new economy, contributing to the country takes on a new meaning too! Also, you will have to stay there and not return till you are in your late 40s, and then just come up with some lame excuses like your parents are getting too old to visit you at where ever you are hiding at. Isn’t that wonderful? And not to mention, the benefits you can derive from all these is not only skipping NS, but when you come back, you get to see your own bapuk face grinning smugly on the front page of the Sunday Times, and also the chance to perform at the Esplanade. See, you will even be offered a chance to recoup the $5k fine that you paid for skipping NS!

I really don’t understand… This is making my blood boil! Now I realise how much my 2-and-a-half years (not including 10 years of Reservist) of going through Army life is worth: $5000! $5000 is the value placed on the following, which I had to undergo at the age of 18 when I was not even allowed to watch R(A) shows:

1) 2.5 years of 5.5-day weeks, 24 hours per day full-time in camp

2) Enduring being insulted (together with people from all the way up to the previous 18 generations in my family lineage) by BMT Sergeants and Officers.

3) 2.5 years of food that even wild boars will think twice about eating (proven by our own experiments)

4) Night attacks that involve 10 hours of non-stop walking in the forests i uneven terrains and along steep slopes, falling at least once every few hours and sustaining all kinds of injuries.

5) Bearing all kinds of nonsense from scorpion to snake bites, abrasions, rashes, dehydrations etc from time to time.

6) Spending weekends, Christmas, New Year and other public holidays performing guard and ambulance duties while other people are busy having fun, and stealing girlfriends of those stuck in camp.

7) Losing my ex-girlfriend due to alleged "neglect" because of standbys and duties and stay-in to some bastards in Uni.

Having to be put on standby and restricted movement and getting called up during weekends.

9) Having huge needles stuck into my body, sometimes by myself, other times by my platoon mates for practice.

10) Enduring having blood, puke and the like on my body in the process of treating casualties.

11) The list goes on, I’m sure many of you can add on to it.

I really don’t know what fairness is anymore. $5k for abandoning your country as well as your parents! To think he had the cheek to run away and leave his parents behind, and use them as an excuse to return years on. For betraying his country and abandoning his parents all he gets is a $5k fine, with a chance to recoup that money in a performance at the Esplanade. Fuck it! So what did the rest of us serve NS and dutifully book in on Sunday nights, turn up for ICT etc for? To save that $5k?!? If the mothers of that those who die or sustain permanent injuries while serving NS had known, I’m sure they would even have gladly paid up $500k to keep them alive til now! ALl that sacrifice from all of us, and the country is telling us it is all valued at $5k, the price of a piano?!? I’ve really lost confidence in justice… To think people get jail sentences in the Detention Barracks for a couple of days AWOL… They might as well stay away a couple of decades and end up facing the much lighter penalty of a $5k fine!

And to think come people have the cheek to try to defend him saying that he has performed great National Service by playing the piano well. For fuck’s sake, National Service for doing some bapuk shit which probably only 1% of the population has bothered to learn to appreciate so that he can benefit them? In that case the Auntie who cleans toilets at City Hall MRT station deserves a Nobel Prize or something because she certainly brings benefit to many more people with her work! And probably whe can take more hardship too…

So now we all know, next time if you have sons, just keep aside $5k when they are born so that they can escape from NS in future. Just make sure they engage in some bapuk stuff like playing piano and truant. But make sure you stay behind so that when they have reached their late 40s, just pretend to fall sick and give them the excuse to return home. That will also be when the $5k comes into use. Also, in the end it may not even need to be used as he can perform at the Esplanade to recoup that sum, and maybe he can even write a book after that and earn big bucks!

OK now that I’m kinda done with my grousings, shall go back to studying for exams. Just had the urge to take a break and share the good news with all of you.

The writer really feels stupid because all this while, although he has been complaining and grumbling about life as an NSF and also NSman, he nas never rebelled or run away from anything. Now he wonders why he bothered to stcik with it all, because $5k would have solved all the problems. That is how much the country valued his and his fellow mates’ contributions anyway…

Munching on an apple, discovering a worm in it. What is worse than that?

Found the answer to that question. Experienced it for myself. The answer is finding HALF a worm! Damn! Anyone knows what nutritional benefits one can derive from eating a worm? Please console me… But anyway another question struck me after the incident. What happens if this happens to a vegetarian? Any has any idea?

Sienz, still trying hard to survive for exams. 1 more week to go. Jia you to everyone!

By the way, I thought that the previous 2 posts were going to generate some responses. Maybe everyone is busy with exams. Anyway please remember to pray for me & my exam results. I need all the luck I can get my hands on!

The writer is finding it increasingly harder to pretend to be a student. Exams are getting to him that he is losing his sanity. He needs a holiday desperately during the break. Any sponsor will be deeply appreciated…

By submitting this card authorisation application, I hereby confirm that I agree to pay the sum of SG$ 30 for my purchases using the card with the above details, and I also agree to the terms & conditions set out by the merchant.

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Finally paid up for my fine successfully. Anyway above is what was on the URA website after I had entered my Visa Card details. Not very expected I must say. Wonder what I am supposed to make of it. Anyway, Alvin, that was for failing to display a parking coupon at 2+pm, when half the parking lots at Adam Road Food Centre were empty…

Whatever it is, finally it’s all settled. Better don’t complain more, although I do have more if I want to continue like how some parking lots for cars can’t even accomodate 2 motorcycles comfortably. But you don’t get anywhere (except the jail, or more monetary losses for some people) complaining against the government, at least here where we are right now.

Going back to study liao, after taking a break to check mail and pay for my fine. Have a good weekend. Wish me good luck for my studies too…

My PERSONAL definition of terrorism goes: Indiscriminately causing pain, suffering, intimidation and fear to others. Going by that definition, I encountered a terrorist today. Although I didn’t get to see her (should be her lah, although like I said, I didn’t see the person) face, she fulfilled my definition of a terrorist, as she did all of the above to me. Just with a slip of paper she caused deep pain and suffering, and caused me to feel intimidated. Not to mention the hole in my pocket. Sienz, my virgin parking fine… Just as my driving licence is turning 2 years old in a few days’ time.

Sometimes when I see these people (usually look like aunties to me), i do wonder why they are sticking it out with this job of issuing parking summonses. If I had to do this, I would rather work as a cleaner in some building, no kidding. At least cleaners are more likely to receive smiles and greetings when they meet people during their course of work. I also think that there is more satisfaction working as a cleaner. I can picture a cleaner saying," I have been doing this for 10 years, and I take pride in my job. I always feel happy when I see the area under my responsibility neat and tidy, and when people thank me for keeping the area clean." Perfectly fine! No problems with that! I do thank cleaners and show my appreciation when they do a good job too. They are contributing to society at a level that is comparable to almost everyone else.

That said, well it is true that being a parking attendant is a decent job too. Earning a salary with a hard day’s work, that is what we have been brought up to believe in, and approve of. However what kind of satisfaction can there be from it? How can a person stick with such kinds of job for more than 1 week? Really no idea man. How about this," I have been doing this for a living ever since 10 years ago. I derive alot of satisfaction from my job. Firstly it is a good form of exercise walking and braving the sun and rain. There is also alot of job satisfaction. There is always a sense of thrill when I issue the summons slip. It is also very good for my health I believe, when people are cursing me for causing them problems. Once in awhile I might break wipers or scratch windscreens, and that is just part and parcel of my job. I never get complacent in my job, and that is why i always try to break my record of number of fines issued each month. The sense of achievement when I set new records is what makes me perform my job with such vigour! I truly believe I am contributing to the economy when I deprive others of their spending money, which otherwise might have been wasted on food, children’s diapers, school fees, petrol, or a few days less work each year etc, which do absolutely nothing for the economy!"

Sometimes I do wonder why there is a need to pay for parking in public carparks. In my limited experiences abroad, Singapore is the only country in which we have to pay for parking at public parking areas, ie those managed by the government. Sure, some might say this is the way to manage demand, as there is limited space in Singapore so we can’t expand the parking areas too much. So making people pay will hopefully encourage them to leave their cars at home, let the engine get rusty and then donate it in showroom condition to the museum decades later. After all we all pay so much for cars in Singapore so we should try to leave them at home, just like we have been taught since young not to display valuables in public.

In my opinion, it is true that there is a need to regulate demand etc. But how many times do we find carparks almost empty during off-peak hours? If the purpose is to regulate demand, then why can’t the periods when people have to pay be just the timings when that particular carpark sees high traffic? There seems to be no point brining this up though. Anyone who reads the forum pages in the newspapers once in awhile can predict the responses that we are going to get. The standard civil servant reply, possibly from a template or "guideline" with fill in-the-blanks format, to be filled up by some scholar who studied at some overseas universities depending on the context and nature of suggestion/complaints. In this case:

We thank you for your feedback regarding the parking payments. We do not think it is feasible to implement your suggestion of making drivers pay only during busy periods. To assure you, we conduct reviews regularly with regards to parking matters, for example when to increase the parking fees, so we assure the public that policies are always up tp date and problems are quickly addressed if we encounter any in our reviews (for example how some bastards are getting away with not dislaying coupons, and that is why we are progressively introducing barriers at multi-storey carparks instead of relying on the coupons).

The URA currently manages 11,001 carparks islandwide, and even on offshore islands, with room for expansion into Johor, with a total of 1,001,001 parking lots in these carparks. By the next 5 years the numbers will increase by about 10% respectively (and so will the parking charges). Blah, blah, blah…

I would like to thank you again for your feedback. We appreciate all feedback from the public. If you need further clarifications or have more suggestions, please call the number below during office hours. Our staff will be glad to be of service to you

-Mr Teo Sum Man, Director of Public Relations etc…

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Hehe see, I also know how to come out with the standard reply liao! SIa lah, talk so much dunno will kena sue ornot sia… Better keep quiet liao, and go back to studying for exams. After exams must go work and earn back the money to pay for the fine. Sighz, that’s the shit that happens… Anyway just for the record, I went onto the URA website just before posting this, and they have not updated the records, and therefore I still could not settle my fine. Maybe all their manpower has been deployed out to scratch windscreens and break wipers and they don’t have enough people doing admin…

The writer of this blog has been having a hard time pretending to be a student recently, being in the midst of exams. He is glad that there is nobody he knows personally who is holding jobs that cause headaches for others, like carpark attendants, kiam siap security guards, or the person at the toilet who holds you hostage over 20 cents when you are in a hurry, even though you promise him/her that you will pay up after you are done with your very urgent "business"…

Haha gonna start off by complaining again… Bought a damn mouse for my laptop from Sim Lim on Wednesday. My wireless is consuming batteries not unlike how an SUV gulps petrol, so I thought I should get a simple wired mouse just so as to save on batteries. The problem was further compounded by the current state of cash flows, of course… Which resulted in me buying a simple (read:cheap) mouse that had anything other than a "Made-in-China" label on the package. Saw a mouse selling for $13, by the brand of A1 PRO. Package did not say where it was made. On hindsight it should have struck me then and there that any other country which was not China would have done everything within its means to disassociate its own products from that of China’s. Unfortunately being hungry and broke caused me to make a hasty decision…

Anyway, skip to the next scene when I got home. The moment I opened the package, there was this super big label on the belly on the mouse proclaiming "Made in China"! When I tried using it, I had a "wonderful" experience never encountered before on any other mouse I have seen in my entire life, whether the mouse was dead or alive, breathing or otherwise. The cursor would move by itself when the mouse was left idle! Impressive wasn’t it? This is what I would call initiative! Doing things without having to be told to. Simply wonderful. Alvin suggested I make the best out of it by starting some fortune-telling service or using it to generate numbers for lottery. But I think I would have preferred a mouse that worked normally.

So next day trooped down to Sim Lim again to have it changed. Wasted time meant for exam revision. Just for the record, I only found something that worked from the same brand, same model after trying the 3rd 1. There was 1 that the cursor simply wouldn’t move- the opposite of it’s hyper-active cousin. This 1 was just a lazy mouse. Finally on the 3rd try did I get something that can work properly, at least till the 2nd day in action that is today.

Not trying anything funny, but they had the cheek to paste a sticker on the mouse that stated: "QC approved", & call themselves A1 PRO. There was also a sticker on the mouse that says:" This device complies with partis of the FCC rules", whatever that is supposed to mean. Hmm… I do suspect there is a typo on that label. Maybe they had meant to say,"This device complies with PARTS of the FCC rules". Have not been able to establish what FCC stands for, but with such efficiency, it probably does not comply with the FCC rules in its entirety, so PARTS of the rules would have been more appropriate. Maybe with that I can also figure what A1 PRO stands for. The "PRO" in the name, which many of us might presume to mean "PROfessional" at first contact, could actually represent "PROblematic". With a 66% failure rate (from my personal experience, might not be representative of the entire product population, as it is a small sample size of 3, which does not qualify it for a Normal Standard distribution etc…) even after being QC Certified, I can’t even make myself imagine the PRO standing for PROfessional! So people, just a warning, please beware of the brand A1 PRO, which only tells you that its products are Made in China after you have paid for them and left the store.

However must mention credit to the sales people in the store that I bought the product from. They were polite when I returned, unlike how some sales staff behave when you return with a faulty merchandise to ask for an exchange. Just to let you know it you are interested, the store goes by the name "Kao Yap Computer Accessories", if I remember it correctly. Probably next time I need computer stuff again that would be the shop I would return to. At least they apologise for the faulty goods and politely offer a new 1 in return.

OK enough about that… Finally finished my Programming assignment. The second great piece of work I have ever performed with a computer, in my entire life! Haha… So now that the assignments/projects are finally over and done with, time to move on to preparing for the exams… Wish me luck k?

Hehe now for some frivolous stuff… Like how some bimbos out there who write their blogs. Hehe… Saw Michelle along the corridor in school today. She was wearing formal attire., probably had some presentation. Wah the sight of her power sia! I think that for girls who can carry themselves correctly, wearing formal attire makes them look very sexy! Haha maybe I have some kind of fetish going on here… Shhh… But I do find my lao po sexy when she wears formal too!   :P

Anyway we established eye contact, and I managed to wipe off my drooling just in time before she saw it. Then she said "Hi" to me, together with a HUGE smile. I almost melted… Keke. Must stress something here. I think that she is cute, one of the cutest in NUS Business School I have seen so far. And I also admit I sit up and "pay attention" whenever she cmes near. However I am still very much faithful to my lao po. Michelle is just the "see no touch" kind. Of course I do enjoy the short chats along the corridor although they have not come as often as I hoped, but that is the about the furthest I will go! Only my lao po will I touch. ANd also please take note that I am not a stalker! Haha

OK shall go back to preparing for exams liao. Just something to leave you with during my absence till I’m free again. This is courtesy of Sock. Featuring 2 damn bo liao people who look kinda gay-ish to me. But anyway have a good laugh to relieve some exam stress lah. Thanks, Sock for that!   :)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6739710473912337648&q=chinese&pr=goog-sl

Hehe I’m late for Deepavali… Hope my Hindu friends forgive me. Anyway happy belated deepavali keke. And to the Muslim friends too, Selamat Hari Raya! Hope you people have fun celebrating tomorrow. Anyway experiencing a mass breaking fast in JB over the weekend myself, I think nobody can ever begrudge the Muslims having the day off and really having fun tomorrow. Anyway for the full story:

Went to JB for some shopping on Saturday with lao pa, lao ma & lao po. Hehe. So we were having a drink at the food court of 1 of the shopping centres at about 6.40pm… Saw all the Muslim people having food and drinks ready at their tables, waiting for 6.55 when they will be allowed to stop fasting for the day. The place was pretty silent except for the people who were still queueing for their food at the stalls, also getting ready to break fast. So after awhile there was an announcement over the PA System of the shopping centre, informing everyone that fasting was over for the day, followed by a prayer recital. Suddenly you could feel a buzz of excitement with everyone tucking in hungrily to the meal they had waited for more than 13 hours to come. You could almost feel this huge sense of relief felt by everyone when that announcement was heard over the PA System! This is something that I have not seen in Singapore before, probably because we seldom have chances to see 80% of the patrons of a food court being Muslim people, and breaking fast together, unless maybe if we are in Geylang Serai. But it was an eye-opener to say the least.

Anyway after this experience, my belief that truly devoted Muslims who have learnt the lessons of the religious teachings well would not become terrorists. The terrorists are a bunch of illogical and non-religious people who are dragging the name of the other good Muslims in mud. I just don’t see how Islam can teach its devotees to inflict so much pain and suffering on other people. This is a religion that tells its people to fast for a month each year so that they will experience some kind of suffering- to learn compassion and better understand the sufferings of the less-fortunate people in this world. How a religion which teaches compassion and humility can wish to tell its people to inflict pain and suffering to others is something perhaps only the crazy people who are setting bombs off can see the link to. I feel sorry for the good Muslims because they have become the scapegoats and convenient excuse for the acts of these black sheep.

Anyway on a lighter note: Want to congratulate my Muslim friends who have successfully completed this challenging month again. It is really not easy to abstain from food and especially water from sunrise to sunset for an entire month. It takes alot of determination. Probably I will never be able to do that, I must also admit. Hari Raya Puasa must really be a celebration of their achievement as well, kind of like when we have celebrations when we successfully complete challenging courses. You have all really earned this well-deserved break and day of celebrations!

Oh yes, by the way, Chelsea have finally lost! Haha let’s see what that big-mouth manager of theirs has to say next. A Deepavali treat that result is! Haha. Enjoy your breaks, everyone. Signing off here. Have a good break, and for those like me, good luck for your exams round the corner! Please pray for us   :P